Yesterday I was standing in our studio looking out the window. It is -0.5 degrees Celsius outside and about 7 in here. It is a gorgeous morning, the sun is rising over Long Hill and I can still see Saturn shining brightly against the golden blue of the sunrise. I was watching the view and feeling the fresh air and was in awe of what I felt and I thought of you. Thoughts came rushing through my mind but the one that swallowed the others was of Monday when you and I were playing on your playmat. You were repeating over and over again svava, svava, svava. I cannot recall the event leading up to your statement but you were determined and saying it in a way that said I should know what you mean.
Your mum came over to help us. She too was stumped. You kept repeating it. Patiently, determinedly. At one stage you even paused to take some deep breaths as you have learnt to do when you are frustrated. I was so in awe of the patience and grace you showed in that moment that I could not even recall what were previously discussing or doing. I was IN that moment trying my hardest to solve the challenge. Mum asked if you could try another way or give us a hint. You paused as if to think. Your eyes looked so sad, not hurt, just unable to be understood. From then you didn’t speak, you seemed to have something in your mouth. I was oblivious to this, I was still guessing words like a buffoon. Mum asked have you got spit in your mouth? I became concerned that you were going to spit out of frustration. This is not something that you have done before, so I do not know why I thought that. Mum told you to swallow it, which you did; then you said SVAVA again.
Immediately we both understood what you meant and that you had been saying swallow. The look on your face was one of relief and fatigue. Days later I still see your beautiful little face and the patience and frustration you showed and felt trying to explain something simple. It left me in awe of all that you have learnt and all that you are obviously still learning. It also made me realise how many times, thousands, millions perhaps, that this has happened in the 857 days since you were born.
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